Lucrezio: Journal

Merry Christmas one and all!

Just a quick note to let you know that Jordan and I have been up to some fun in our mini-home studio, and as our gift to you for being so gracious to lend an ear, along with your support, we wanted to fill your ipod (or whatever mp3 device you might have) with some FREE Christmas music.  From 'yours truly' of course :)

As of today, there is currently only one tune on our Noisetrade site, but stop in throughout the month of December, and we'll have a couple more up for you!  We can't say thank you enough.

Much love to all,

Lucrezio

 

I must admit, I hope the subject line intrigued you as we do indeed have an announcement worth announcing.  No need to keep you hanging!  I’ll just dive right in.  Lucrezio’s first and only drummer, Dave Fowler, has decided to step down from the band.  The decision was one that was met with much contemplation, but we are excited to see Dave step out into a new adventure with his wife.  He will be missed, though our friendship is strong – so for those that wonder, it “ended well.”

Of course the question then most likely to be asked: What does that mean for Lucrezio?  Well, it means that we keep playing!  We keep going; keep pursuing; keep loving people and loving music.  Yes being without a permanent drummer will pose as a challenge, but we are on the lookout for a new fourth member, and are really excited about this necessary new step in the life of Lucrezio.  During this time of transition, for those moments where we can’t find a gracious someone to fill in, we will simply play acoustic sets.  Thankfully we love those too!  Of course we will let you know on our calendar those shows that are full band and those that are acoustic. 

In the meantime, here are a whole slew of shows for you, all of which are the final shows that Dave will play.  Most importantly, as these cities are closest to our hearts, Dave’s final Chicago show will be on Friday, Sept. 16th at Elbo Room and his final Rockford show will be Saturday, October 8th at Kryptonite.  As always, we deeply appreciate the support, but more than that, know that Dave would love to see the faces that have supported us along the way, so we hope you might be able to make it out!

Until then, feel free to send Dave an email and let him know how much he will be missed!  You can contact him at dave@lucreziomusic.com.

Thanks for the love everyone.  Lucrezio has found itself in some major moments of change, but we will continue to write and perform and share because we love you all too much to stop.  You all inspire our movement forward.

Stay Strong.  Dig Deep.

Lucrezio

Ps. Jennifer started a blog!  Check it out if you’d like… here’s the link! www.jenniferlucrezio.blogspot.com

DAVE's FINAL LUCREZIO SHOWS!!

Sunday, September 4th, 2011

On the Waterfront Weekend @ Bar 3 | Rockford - 9:30pm

Friday, September 16th, 2011

Chicago's Elbo Room @ 9pm

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

Rockford's Kryptonite @ 10pm

Dave's last show!

It is with great excitement that we pronounce to you the release of our album, Storybook.  We are just overwhelmed with gratitude for those that have supported us in this endeavor and eager to see where this new chapter will lead the plot of our never ending story.  So take a listen, spread the word, come to a show... buy the album!  And while you're there, be sure to write a review and let the world know what you think!

Check out the video to see what it's all about!

Happy New Year!

For Lucrezio, the start of 2011 comes with great excitement as we prepare to release our album, Storybook, and share pieces of who we are with you through our music.  This is just the beginning of a beautiful conversation with you, our friends, family, and dear fans.

So to kick off the new year right, and as our way of extending some love in the best way we know how, we'd like you to have our single "Dreamer" for FREE!  Simply swap an email address for a tune.  Enjoy!

“If what I am is a dreamer, when fear is how my thoughts collide. And I want to move further, but break at every step I try.”

 

A lyric taken from the single, Dreamer, off of Lucrezio’s debut album, Storybook. That line reflects in so many ways the course we have taken in pushing this album forward as a culmination of the past two years that we have called ourselves Lucrezio. Recording this album has been an emotional process, as we have seen our passion for this art and for the people listening take on new heights. Although a dream can constantly be overshadowed by the fear of a dead-end, this one moment we can be sure of, in that we are proud of the art that we have to offer; Not only because it has allowed us to reflect on the journey, but because we would want none other to reach your hands than a piece of creative inspiration.

 

Of course the realistic weight of producing an album has made itself known, and so we have sought out an opportunity through Kickstarter.com that will not only allow us the means to see this project through to the end, but will give you the chance to take on an exciting role in the process!

 

So here is how this will work.

You may pre-order your SIGNED copy of the album, Storybook, accompanied by a Christmas card from the band ☺ for only $10 when you visit www.kickstarter.com/profile/lucreziomusic.  From there, if you would like to contribute a greater amount, there are rewards that you will receive from the band for your generosity! Those rewards are listed on the right hand side of our Kickstarter page. Your card will not be charged said amount until the project is fully funded by January 22nd.

 

We are setting our project goal at $2,500, which will cover the remaining three processes that we have to give attention to before the album can be complete: mastering, duplication, and album artwork. Of course there are many more areas that we will need to cover in the near future, such as marketing & promotion, updated merchandise, updated postcards, web design, web maintenance, etc. So if funds are raised beyond $2,500, we can assure you that all will be put directly into the movement of the band! Though no matter how great or small the amount that you give, you will have a profound impact on the steady heartbeat of Lucrezio.

 

If you have any questions as to the in-and-outs of how Kickstarter works, feel free to visit www.kickstarter.com/help/faq. In the meantime, we would love to keep you posted with the progress of this record and we cannot thank you enough for the generosity that you have shown by simply lending an ear to the art of Lucrezio. Such graciousness ignites a fire that makes our dreams feel alive, and if our passion can light an ardor in you, then may we play our parts in this storybook with all the more vigor.

Jealous is not how I would characterize myself.  Perhaps like many I do my fair share of unnecessary comparison, but not so far as to be jealous.  Except for our most recent time in the studio, where I rather jealously listened to the beautiful melodies of one craved instrument, the cello.  Perhaps jealous is a bit too strong of a word, but I certainly wouldn’t mind possessing the talent over such an incredible instrument.  “Marvelous Melissa” as I have so endearingly coined her (see Lucrezio’s 4th day in the studio vlog for that one) has a beautiful talent, and considering that she has been playing since the fourth grade, should own every ounce of accomplishment for that dedication.  It was an absolute pleasure working with such talent, gaining the privilege of incorporating live strings into our album.  Not that I’m necessarily against synthesized sounds, but I cannot be convinced that anything is better than the real thing.

 

So with great excitement, as well as a twinge of sorrow, our time in the studio is coming to an end.  Just two more days should see this project complete, and the process has been nothing but rewarding.  Just recently someone asked Jordan and myself what reward there was to being in the studio, aside from hopes that our music would fall into the hands of hundreds.  The answer was all too easy, for although we’d love to see our album reach an element of success in our independent musical journey, that satisfaction seems only second to the process of making music.  Recording takes the creative thoughts that have been in our minds and allows them to come to life.  We have the chance to get every note right, to create new parts, let alone the simple pleasure of hearing bass once again.  Our art, before even reaching the ears of others, hits our ears in a way that we can’t replicate given just the three of us.  For the first time, we get to hear the music exactly as it was intended, and the reward in that is what every artist craves.

 

Though in the end of all things, the music will hit your ears and if in some way you are touched and inspired to dig just a little bit deeper, than the process was worth the effort, and the initial reward one worth receiving.  We won’t be selfish.  This is for you.

I must admit, I’m cheating this time around.  I’m not actually at the studio right now, and haven’t been for the last sixteen hours.  Rather, I’m positioned rather uncomfortably on a white leather couch in Jordan’s office, wondering what I ate that could have made me feel so awful.  Though until Jordan is ready to go, I am left to bide my time and hope that by writing it will distract me from whatever it is that’s ailing me. 

 

So that being said, allow me to reflect for you.  Day #3 in our studio adventures was full of mixed emotion.  From the excitement of being able to record some more vocals and playing that beautiful parlor piano, while discovering that’s it’s the exact same black beauty that my parents own - The sentimentality in that?  Simply the ivory touch on a set of keys that sparked my dreams, and now here I find myself, making music with an equally magnificent instrument, but one that pushes my mind to wrestle with the journey that it led me on.  With a little Seinfeld thrown in, the load was lightened with a Kramer comment, only to soon after discover that we had run into a bit of a snag.  Meaning that we have to re-cut guitar parts for three songs after thinking that guitar was fully tracked.  So much to our dismay, we left with the knowledge that as productive as our time had felt over these past three days, it has still left us needing to pay for more studio time than we had bargained for.  Then of course, we had to leave, knowing that tomorrow we wouldn’t be back.  Oh we’ll be back, but we already miss it.  So with a slight heaviness in the air and a new day that would open the door to our Chicagoland lives, and now sitting here with a rather disgruntled stomach, there is not much more to say about day number three.

 

Except that we’re ready to go back. 

After a rather disheartening morning, spending two hours on our first video blog and the program then deciding that it wanted to run an error that would keep me from finalizing the video, which in turn kept me from a shower, breakfast, and kept you from getting a taste of our first day in the studio - At least for now.  Though with Jordan graciously keeping me entertained in our travels by joining me in some vocal warm-up exercises, I was again enraptured with the thought of walking into the studio for a full day.

What aroma fills the air at this moment?  That sweet guitar.  Yes, the sound of a guitar does carry it’s own aroma.  Sweet but sassy.  Strong but simple.  Sexy but . . . well, just plain sexy.  Especially considering that I’m madly in love with the person playing said instrument  :)  Ah yes, but back to the reason we’re all here; To smell the sumptuous delight of music.  Let’s see 4:48 in the afternoon.  Just one hour and 12 minutes left before we call it a wrap.  At least for today.  Guitar tracks for four songs complete, and ready to pump out vocals for song number three.  It doesn’t get much better than this.

I am in love.  Well, I should be fair.  We are in love.  There is a certain fondness we have for each other, though this new affair seems to make us even more so appreciate the depth of our musical bond.  Who knew the simplicity of a place could bring so much to the surface?

Our first day in “the studio” is upon us.  A rather long sought after moment and as I hear the pounding of Dave’s drum kit while sitting in the control room, 2-hrs. after our arrival, I realize that the sound couldn’t be any sweeter.  To some it might be noise, chaos even, or perhaps a tedious process that would drive one to feel like they’ve just wasted 2-hrs. of their life, like after watching a movie where you feel dumber after leaving the theatre.  Not to us.  To us it is the sweet anticipation of music in the making; The culminating point of our love for writing, for performing, for recording.

First song on deck today: Storybook.  Single.  Title Track.  A favorite.  One that inspired the soon to be album artwork and perhaps might find it’s way to inspiring you.  Only you’ll know that.

4:05.  I’ve run out of things to write and we are here until 10.  Good thing we’re here to make music.

Conversations can lead to the most profound moments; Moments where in speaking aloud I discover the thoughts that truly reveal how my mind has been shaped, how it feels, how it understands. 

Well, I have had many marvelous a conversation in the past couple of weeks, all revolving around the same word – sacrifice.  A heavy word, perhaps, when you think on the weight of its connotation.  Sacrifice.  Surrender.  Relinquish.  Costly.  What else comes to mind?  Well whatever it is, I would think that with the idea of sacrifice comes the idea of struggle.  No matter if the reward is far greater, the sacrifice itself is going to take some gumption.

I am an artist.  I was an artist before I started working full time at my church, directing all realms of music and production.  Though I must admit, I feel more of an artist now, being able to put my passions to action every day.  In my tendency to look back, a tendency that is probably far too familiar to each of us, I have seen a strong trend that led my decisions.  Sacrifice.  I chose to go to college so that I could become a trained vocalist.  I sacrificed time.  I chose to drive myself and my belongings to a city I had never stepped foot on before so that I could pursue my art.  I sacrificed security.  I accepted a job in the banking industry so that I could support myself while forming and leading a band.  I sacrificed my daily enjoyment.  I married the love of my life and vowed to grow in love and commitment.  I sacrificed independence.  I moved to Rockford, IL to take on the responsibilities of a leader and artist at River Valley Community Church.  I sacrificed living in the city I had come to love. 

With every decision there came sacrifice - Some easier than others, but an adjustment nonetheless.  Yet there is more to every decision made, for to every road taken is a road left empty - One sacrifice made in the place of another. Jennifer, why did you take that job at the bank if there were tears in your eyes at the thought of saying ‘yes’?  Jennifer, why did you spend so much time planning a wedding when you could have been writing more songs?  Jennifer, why didn’t you just sell all of your belongings and go on the road?

For some, the potential decisions of the past that I ponder are very viable options, and rightly pursued by many.  For me, every decision was surrounded by so much more than simply “going for my dream.”  Oh believe me, I haven’t given up.  My vigor is stronger than ever.  I believe wholehearted that Lucrezio is going places and that our longing to reach the hearts of many through the music we have written in an even greater capacity than now is not only a hope, but a future reality.  Though for me, I was not willing to simply sacrifice “everything”, and ironically, that’s the sacrifice that I made.

You may ask, but isn’t the artist’s life supposed to be someone living out of a car, dirt-poor, single, and working at Starbucks? 

That’s what I thought too.  Until I realized the artist’s life has no one way.  I am an artist and this is my life.

“No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.”

~ Robert Southey

        Truly, this is where my heart resonates, given a conversation at 1 o’clock in the morning with a dear friend.  For those who have been faithful to the plight of Lucrezio, you have seen the journey unfold in ways exciting and in ways least expecting, in ways challenging and in ways exhilarating; from a small-town girl, to big-city living; from the expression of one to the creativity of four; from our first Chicago show to our first radio interview --- and still to know that the journey does not end here, but that it moves and flourishes by the heart of our passions and the light of our sacrifice. 

       For reasons that leave us still very much friends and companions, Peter (Lucrezio's bass player) has seen a fork in the road and has decided to walk in a different direction.  You know, the beautiful truth about rugged pathways is that although the road lies behind you, nothing can combat with the reality that knows you still took the journey and left your footprint in the mud.  Our stories and experiences together will remain imprinted upon our hearts, and in those moments that we think back to Lucrezio at its beginning, we will smile. 

“Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

~Richard Bach

       Peter’s last show with us will be most appropriately in Chicago’s own Goose Island in Wrigleyville on June 12^th.  We would love to honor his presence with us one last time before moving onward in the journey, so please consider joining us for a rather sentimental evening. 

If you have ever had a dream …

If you have ever experienced an untamed passion for something more …

If you have ever lived life in pursuit of what your heart deeply desires …

If you have ever made sacrifices only to ache for the seemingly impossible …

If you have ever believed that the impossible is attainable …

Then we have walked a similar journey with an outcome yet to be determined, but a passion far from being hindered.

Then you have seen disappointment that only pushes you further …

Then you have experienced a cry that says “Here I Am! – Somebody please hear me ”…

Then you know you cannot settle for anything less than the cry of your heart…

You know that you cannot do it alone.

This Saturday morning in May greeted us with a cool breeze, forming puffs of cold air that freely escaped through our lips. My shoes became decorated with speckles of mud each time they sunk into puddles of grassy patches that became our pathway to the music tent. Our set-up was simple, but Jordan and I worked diligently to arrange the small platform for our acoustic performance, honored to benefit this great cause that we were invited to support. Half past nine, while bundled in my winter hat and marshmallow vest, we positioned ourselves in the dew covered folding chairs so as to fill the air with unheard melodies.

The wind took to our tunes marvelously, but only to carry each song away selfishly, merely mixed in with drifting dandelion parachutes. Although perhaps the wind took each note to God’s ears in the journey upward, and even one dear elderly lady in the corner who smiled lavishly upon us. As for the rest, they took the hands of their children and leashes of their dogs, strolling upon the grass with not even a gaze thrown in our direction, save an occasional thumbs-up whilst meandering to the food tent.

Jordan’s fingers growing slightly numb from the cold, and with his fifth string now absent from the neck of his guitar, we began to play a tune that started on the white keys of my piano and made its way to this shadowed tent.

“Write it down, every word, that has no sound but can be heard. Write it down, every thought, and don’t forget the words you sought. Fighting for an answer.

I want to scream what I can’t say. What will it take for you to hear me? I want to shout; just shout it out. What will it take for you to see me? So I will -- ”

Yet they continued to hear nothing but whispers of an innocent wind. Every piece of my being cried out unashamedly for my voice to be heard, only to recognize that I cannot grasp what it will take for the writings of my heart to become truth to empty steps that struggle through life just as much as I. Either they are not listening closely enough to find the resonating truth that hovers in the air above their heads, or I am not screaming loudly enough.

So here I am, writing down the words that make the very core of my being ache. Not merely because I want to be heard, but because I want you to hear; to know that in our vastly different journey’s, the heart of emotion and hurt and struggle is something that we all know, no matter the yoke of our beliefs, no matter the steps within our stories, no matter the depth of our pain.

This is why I write. This is why we play. Although we long to do what we love, our desires are cast not simply for the sake of ourselves, but for the beauty that will manifest itself when we all choose to listen and share in the struggle.

President Obama and his administration have recently moved to rescind job protections for healthcare providers who refuse to provide care they find objectionable.

Whether you are Pro-Life or Pro-Choice, please recognize that this move extends beyond what is "right" and what is "wrong." America has been marked as a nation of freedom, and so must extend that freedom to all people.

So I am asking of you to please go to www.freedom2care.org, where you can send your message to the Government. You may make it personal, or you may simply take roughly 45 seconds to add your name to thousands of people who want to give their healthcare providers the freedom to choose.

Public comments are being accepted only until APRIL 9th so please spread the word quickly!

______________________________________________________

My message to Government:

Yes, my heart breaks for the unborn, although now it breaks for those who have been given the gift of life; Individuals who have chosen a profession to care for the sick and mend the wounded, who now find themselves forced to take a life that they feel truly is life.

I understand that the administration who reads this message on behalf of President Obama may not find abortion murder, nor am I trying to take the time to convince you of that, regardless of my personal convictions. Still in spite of where the difference lies, understand to the extent that our nation suffers from a lack of conviction; from theft to divorce to rape to murder. Thankfully there are those whose conscience would keep them from doing these things. Again, many may not believe that performing an abortion is equivocal to murder, but for those that do, you are asking them to perform an act that blatantly moves against the core of who they are; an act that would weaken their moral character, and make them feel as corrupt as that of a killer.

Why, in a world where our lack of convictions have caused fellow human beings pain, would you ask those who want nothing but to restore a broken body to, in their minds eye, destroy it. We are a nation of freedom, whether that freedom is deemed "right" or "wrong." Freedom for men to marry men and women to marry women; Freedom for religious groups to meet and worship their god in public; Freedom for women to make the choice of whether or not they want to keep the child they have conceived. Then may this freedom extend into those in medicine, by not forcing them to choose between ethically controversial practices and the career that they have worked so passionately towards. Women who want an abortion will find those willing to give them an abortion. It is not as though we are running out of pro-choice healthcare providers.

Please protect the freedom of these men and women who live out their moral convictions, just as you have given freedom to those who choose to live a different way.

“Daniel 11:32 says, ‘the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.’

It is God’s desire that your life be marked by greatness. Great things, successful marriages, prosperous business, remarkable victories in our lives: these are irrefutable evidence of someone who genuinely knows God. Millions of people know about God, but those who know Him intimately step up to a new level of greatness and influence.”

~Anonymous Church Website
My heart suddenly has this strange burning sensation; this ache as though it has been wrung out with the twist of some long, prodding fingers; a chill turning this cavern that beats life into my being into an ice-covered grotto, struggling for breath above the cool surface; disappointment.

Whether you believe with me in my God or not, perhaps you can still understand the way my heart beats. Think of something, anything, in which you firmly believe. I’m convinced that we all believe in something. If you are an atheist you choose to believe that there is no God. If you are madly in love, you believe that love can be unconditional. If you are passionately against the wrong-doings of the unjust, you believe in justice. Now take with me that passion, that fire, that belief, in the mindset that our beliefs truly do define us, and envision someone giving it a definition that blasphemes the very nature of who you are, that skews the words that you have claimed as your center, that attempts to claim the same belief, but defines that end with false words and misconstrued hopes.

I understand why the word “Christianity” makes people cringe. I understand why the very mentioning of God can make a person’s heart grow cold. I understand why the idea of church can stimulate a virus in one’s spirit, even though it lay dormant from the infection that blistered years ago. From stories where a young man, a pastor’s son, told the entirety of his church body that he had cancer, and raised thousands of dollars for his false cause, to where a teenage girl was kicked out of her church youth group because she foolishly became pregnant, to where a college boy was subject to discrimination and piercing glares, from those that preached acceptance, upon revealing his homosexuality. This is not the God I serve: A God who uses high standing position to take advantage of the faithful; a God who folds His arms into His chest at the very thought of our mistakes and imperfections; a God who holds no love for those that bear the heart of who they are.

In this instance, a God who claims that knowing Him will lead to greatness in ways where success is measured not by who you are, but by what material possessions and worldly achievements you gain. Does serving God mean that you are to be denied material things, a successful marriage, a prosperous business, and remarkable victories? Of course not! In the faith that I attest to and through the God that I boldly serve, I have come to know and love the man that I married with complete knowledge that this union is forever. In His grace, I have been blessed with the finances to rent a decent apartment in the city of Chicago, own a jeep liberty, and put money towards a new camera for the sake of taking up a new hobby. Through His faithfulness, I have been able to pursue music and find my childhood dreams begin to take flight. Through His mercy I have seen three men in my family beat cancer, and live as a testimony to His healing power. God has blessed me in all these ways.

However, are you telling me that the God-fearing mother who has lost her job in this financial crisis must not know Him intimately? Are you telling me that the young girl who has time and time again been beaten by her raging alcoholic father must not be walking close enough to God, even amidst tear-filled prayers of love and forgiveness for the very man that bruised her broken body? Are you telling me that the man who gave His life to this Jesus in a prison cell, and died in that tomb of stone and metal bars, could not have truly known God because he never amounted to anything more than an inmate?

Perhaps you have been given this word: that knowing God means knowing greatness measured by what this world can give. I cannot address every false word that you have been given, nor can I take back from your memory the words of someone who claims this faith, yet hurt you so deeply that the very thought of God disgusts you. However, I can tell you this:

Choosing to believe in anything will come at a cost.

Choosing to live for greatness will come as a disappointment.

Choosing to follow God will come with contentment.

‘Irrefutable evidence’ comes with the joy of knowing that He is enough.

God still chooses to bring elements of success, whether through the prosperity of a pursued passion or the conquest over a personal struggle, to the lives of those that walk intimately with Him. Such is the reason I believe God has exercised such abundant blessing in my life. Still, if you walk into this faith believing that the God you claim as absolute is going to smear the problems of life’s insignificance into the stony shoreline, letting the tide carry away the refuse, never to touch your soaking feet again, then you may find yourself sinking into a new shallow edge of muck and mire; only to be left with a deep awareness that God, though a shelter from the storm, will not always keep the rain away.

“The king of the north will play up to those who betray the holy covenant, corrupting them even further with his seductive talk, but those who stay courageously loyal to their God will take a strong stand.
Those who keep their heads on straight will teach the crowds right from wrong by their example. They'll be put to severe testing for a season: some killed, some burned, some exiled, some robbed. When the testing is intense, they'll get some help, but not much. Many of the helpers will be halfhearted at best. The testing will refine, cleanse, and purify those who keep their heads on straight and stay true, for there is still more to come.”

Daniel 11:32-35 (The Message)
The Word of God speaks so much more truly when read in the context that it was given. Though the translation is different, the message is the same: Following God, at times, will hurt, but even gold must be refined by fire in order to become the beautiful work of art for which it was intended.

“Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life.”

1 Timothy 6:17-19 (The Message)

If you knew me well, you would know that if there’s a movie out there … I probably haven’t seen it.
Nonetheless, I do expose my naïve mind every once in a while to the world of Hollywood, and in one moment, I came upon “Across the Universe” ; An incredibly artistic, unique film that shapes the masterpieces of the Beatles into an interpretive journey through a time of war, revolution, and love.

I’m almost giving the impression that this blog is going to turn into a movie review, but actually, I just wanted to highlight a moment in the film that takes the intensity of a family disagreement, to an awkward pause that poises a sigh of relief, all while reflecting on the view point of a serious truth … and only in the course of three lines.

Uncle Teddy: Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.
Max: No, Uncle Teddy. Who you are defines what you do. Right Jude?
Jude: [awkward] ... Well, surely it's not what you do, but the, uh... the way that you do it.

Perhaps the lines absence of character, context, and emotion do not serve this moment justice, but regardless, each line, no matter its intent, is thick with wisdom; Or perhaps foolishness.

Here’s my story. I work at a bank. I have no passion, no drive, no longing, no satisfaction, no fulfillment in working at this bank. Granted, this bank contributes to the supply of my material needs and the needs of my husband. This bank is a very large reason why I chose, or could afford, to stay in Chicago, and in turn, what led me to, most sincerely, meet and marry the man of my dreams. This bank is allowing me to pursue my aspirations as a musician while not playing the stereotypical starving musician in the process.
So who am I left to agree with?

“What you do defines who you are.”

My first reaction is a resounding, NO. What I do does not define who I am, however, it does provide the means for me to do what I love. So in essence, this job works to shape the definition of myself without it alone defining me. Even everyone at the office knows that I do not belong in corporate America, nor has working here made me so. My demeanor is probably less “business” than it was when I first arrived. (You should see my cubicle :) Yet the question still begs to be asked. Is this even “what I do”? My work is my job. My job is my work. Not what I do. Not who I am. I “do” music. I am a musician. Suddenly, this view point is sounding a bit better. I choose to submerse myself in the pursuit of music, and by following in that path, I am defining the person music has led me to become.

Ah, but then Max speaks in a way so certain, he must surely have a point.

“No, Uncle Teddy. Who you are defines what you do.”

Okay now I see. Something needs to be a part of me first before I can allow it to stretch and grow into what I do. The bank was never an innate part of me, which is probably why claiming it as something “I do” was a hard point to agree upon. Who am I first? I am a musician. I know that already. I have known that truth for as long as melodies have been protruding from my lips, and so because of music, because of who I am, the definition of what I do has become very clear.

Still, there is something a bit unsettling about all of this. If I agree that who I am defines me, then why is it that I have to still be subjected to doing something other than my first love? If all it takes is for me to discover who I am, then is it possible that I could comfortably be a banker for the rest of my life? What “doing” will I have allowed to define me then? – The passions innate within me, or the job that dictates my survival. Who would I be then? – A banker who loves music or a musician who works at a bank.

“Well surely it’s not what you do, but the way that you do it.”

Though a struggle for words, though an attempt to find neutral ground, though a naïve statement amidst adamant words of deep insight, Jude speaks with the most wisdom. The definition of yourself comes not in what the act is that fills your time, or even necessarily the passions that fill your heart, but the way that you see these two pieces of your personal journey carried through.
I have a choice. I can let this bank define me by letting myself feel trapped by the resources it provides, rather than letting it become an outlet for financial freedom. I can let music define me by pursuing this art with a vigor that brings dreams to fruition, or I can simmer in the lost hope that says my art will never be more than an untapped potential of creative energy.

There will be circumstances in life that bring you to do what you must, rather than what you desire, just as there will be opportunities that bring you to do what you love, rather than what is required. Whatever that moment may have in store, your approach, your attitude, your “way” will dictate your definition.

So who are you?

Whelp, it's true ...

Lucrezio has jumped onto the YouTube band wagon :)

We are so excited to be able to actually SHOW you what we're up to.

We hope to be putting band blogs up, as well as more concert footage and music videos for you to check out, so feel free to subscribe so that you'll know when we've posted something new! Oh and please feel free to leave comments or messages telling us what you think, or even just to say hello. It's a joy to hear from you all!

Happy watching :)
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We're also excited to be able to let you all know that our first EP is now available on iTunes! Just click on the link below :)

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Hate 'em? Love 'em?

Well, however you feel about this "annual tradition," they certainly have a way of making people think about what's important ... right?
Let's just say that they can at least be ... well ... interesting :)

1. I will not look at boys - 13 year old girl

2. I will eat ice-cream at midnight - every midnight of the year, I mean, not just this one - Ice-cream Connoisseur

3. I will not let the dog hog the pillow, growl at me from the sofa, and snatch the bun from my plate - this year she's going to learn that I'm the Alpha of the house and only I get to do certain things - Owner of untrained dog.

4. I will polish my pate - Bald person

5. I will never squat again with my spurs on - Cowboy

6. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant - Lazy and Smart Fellow

7. If I see a UFO I won't tell anybody about it - Spoilsport

8. I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks - Tween boy

9. This year I'm going to stop being so nice - Person who overdid it.


10. I will take neither myself nor any of the above seriously - YOU

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Lucrezio

So you've heard it all before ... or maybe you haven't.

Total annual revenue for trafficking of persons is estimated to be between $5 billion and $9 billion, giving slave traders more money than Google, Nike, and Starbucks combined.

The United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) and the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) estimate that 2 million children are exploited in prostitution or pornography every year.

An estimated 14,000 people are trafficked in the United States alone each year.


I won't turn this into a page of statistics. Perhaps for some of you here, those numbers are shocking; perhaps for others, you know there's much more to be written upon the tragic stories of enslaved fathers, mothers, women, and children. Whichever your state of mind, you are responsible ... because you know.

"To whom much is given, much is required."

You've certainly heard such an expression before, but do you understand? Do you understand the implications of being responsible to what you know? Do you understand the burden that you now carry for the bruised and dirty, hopeless and forsaken, because you have heard?

So now what?

A few weeks ago, I watched a film by the name of Call + Response. As a musician, the intertwining of music and social justice inspired me in my aspirations to use music to speak to the hearts of a people crying out for truth; crying out for purpose; crying out for justice. How often, though, do you wrestle with the paralysis that you've resorted to in hearing the cry of social injustice, while faltering in your response.

I don't write this to discourage you by any means, but perhaps I'm not the only one who wonders what someone like me can do to tackle such an inhumane reality. At the theatre we received these postcards ... 33 Ways to Respoond. The one that grabs my attention the most is #33:
Do What You Love. Use your talents to fight slavery. Do an art project and display it in a public place. Use a sports event to raise awareness and funds for the issue. Talk about the issue at a concert, or make it a benefit for survivors. Film a movie on the state of modern-day slavery. Write about the issue and post it on blogs.


What do you love and how can that make a difference? From the wise words of Cornel West, renowned philospher, author, and professor at Princeton University:

Justice is what love looks like in public.

Hey All ... Jennifer here,

I came across these words of Dr. Paul Munson today, and in the perameter of my office cubicle, took a moment to examine exactly what was being said. So now I'm curious... what do YOU think??

"Art is a necessary part of culture because we, as creatures with one foot in the spatio-temporal realm and one foot out of it (Eccl 3:11), need to be able to communicate to one another and to God in forms that embrace the messiness and uncontainability of meaning."
~ Dr. Paul Munson, Assistant Professor of Music
Union University

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
~ Ecclesiastes 3:11

So if the art form of music, whether you are the performer or the listener, blatantly communicates a form of beauty and understanding into a world we are constantly striving to comprehend, then does it matter which songs we decide to play and hear? Is beauty solely in the eye of the beholder, or from the minds of Augustine and Thomas Aquinas, is beauty "the form of things that enables us to recognize goodness and truth"?

Music is beauty, but perhaps the greater beauty is not the physical sound being made, but the message that it communicates in an attempt to further our understanding of this life; to further our understanding of what is true.

What music, what message, what goodness, what beauty are you encompassed by ... Does any of this make a difference?

Yep, that's how long it's been since I've written of any "news & happenings." So what's new?!?!

Well ... my solo career has taken a back seat, and here enters the full band. Woohoo! We have quite a few things in the works. Apart from playing 2-3 shows a month throughout Chicagoland, we've been in the studio, finishing up a demo so you can all catch a glimpse of our new sound, and even creating a music video for your viewing pleasure! For more updates on where we're playing, when our t-shirts will be available for online sales, and the release of our EP, feel free to join the email list! It's the best way to stay posted ... but in the meantime, thanks for stopping by!!!

I rediscovered my reason for being here today ... to make music ... to inspire ... to encourage ... no strings attached. Often I think I'd rather be living out of a car with minimal expenses to my name, traveling the road with my passion for music driving. Give it all to me ... bars for the least expecting, coffeeshops for those hearing, churches for those needing to immerse themselves in a culture that they are unaware of. I want to share with all of them. I want to meet new people, and even if only for a moment, make them feel loved. I want to take a homeless person out to lunch, and I want to hear their story. I don't desire things, and I almost wish I hadn't bought such a nice sofa bed, although I must admit, I sleep quite nicely. The money I make, I want to give it away. Maybe that's why God decided to bless me with a job ... so I could put what I am given back into His creation. All of this talk with "I," and yet I don't want it to be about me at all. I love music. But may my music be far more than for myself. It is for the overlooked, the unseen, the searching, the surviving, the naive, those stagnant and those settling. It is for people who share my faith and people who call me crazy for it. It is for God. And I'm not about to let anything get in the way.

So I'm presently playing quite a few shows with local Indianapolis artist, Kendall Ludwig. Check him out sometime!

www.myspace.com/kendallludwig
www.kendallludwig.com

Hello there everyone ...
It seems that I forgot to let you know that the music from my EP, "Alive," is now available on iTunes. Just click on this link! (I know, it's a long one ...)

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=128737490
Whelp, that's all for now! Until next time ...

Plenty of time has passed since I last shared with all of you ... perhaps because I am undergoing a major transition right now --- and because I have limited internet access =/ Yep ... that could do it. But hey, Chicago is a great city! I'm falling in love the more I explore. And the more I explore, the more I just want to dig into the music scene! But it seems things have been put on hold for the past few weeks while I search for both an apartment and a job (aka. a place to live and a way to pay for it) So yes, I'm in a fantastic music city, and yet I feel so far removed. Ah well ... all in good time. What it comes down to is being able to live in the moment. I should be in no rush ... even though I feel anxious. So as they say, SEIZE THE DAY! I can only be where I am in the moment I have been given ...